


I Use a Light to Guide Me Home

by justanotherfangirl44 (everlove44)



Series: Wherever You Are Is the Place I Belong [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Gabriel/Sam Winchester, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlove44/pseuds/justanotherfangirl44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you’ve found another way to stop the apocalypse then?” Castiel asked. Gabriel was smiling.<br/>“I’ve found more than that. I found God. He’s alive, Cassy.”</p><p>(This takes place in 5.22 and vears in an entirely different direction.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted fluff. Then this whole backstory happened and here we are.  
> This is the first thing I've ever posted, so please be nice! Criticism is good, as long as it's constructive.  
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.  
> (Title from One Direction's Stockholm Syndrome.)
> 
> EDIT: As of May 5th, 2017, this prequel is has been re-written and is now the 2.0 version of the fic. Enjoy the hopefully more cohesive story!

Sam reached for the first gallon of demon blood. This was it. He’d said his goodbyes and it was now or never. He was ready to defeat Lucifer, or at least die trying.

“STOP!” Surprised, Sam jerked, vaguely aware of blood flying before his vision blurred.

“What the hell?” Dean asked. Looking around, Same could echo the sentiment. They were in Bobby’s living room, about 600 miles from where they had been just moments before. Castiel and Bobby were also in the room and the four shared looks of confusion.

“Cas, did you-” Dean cut off when Castiel glared.

“I don’t even have enough power to get myself here, Dean. This was not me.”

“It was actually me.” The men turned to face the fifth person in the room. Although Sam thought maybe ‘person’ was a loose description for the slight blonde with a sucker stuck out of his mouth.

“Gabriel?”

“The one and only!” the archangel exclaimed with a wide smile. He turned to face Sam directly before he spoke again. “Sorry, kiddo, I couldn’t let you sacrifice yourself. I figured with another archangel on your side, we might be able to figure out another way to stop the apocalypse.” The level of shock and confusion in the room only rose when Sam suddenly lunged forward. Gabriel let out an undignified squeak as the hunter hugged him tightly.

“What happened to you? We thought you were dead!” Sam’s voice was accusing, but rather muffled from where his face was buried in Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel had one arm around Sam’s waist, the other rubbed his back in soothing strokes.

“Third time was definitely the charm. Good thing too, those charred wings were a real bitch to pull off.” Gabriel explained to the room at large. “After I got everyone off my tail, I was going to disappear, sit out this part of the apocalypse. I even scouted out a nice place in Europe.” Sam realised that he was still clinging to the angel and pulled away with a cough.

“What brought you back?” Castiel’s head was slightly tilted, as it usually was when he was confused.

“I decided to take Dean’s advice.” Dean frowned.

“My advice?”

“Yes, your advice. I’m standing up to my family, finally. And it seems to have worked heavily in the current company’s favor.” Gabriel seemed intent on being just as annoyingly cryptic as he had been before faking his death.

“So you’ve found another way to stop the apocalypse then?” Castiel demanded, stepping forward when all Gabriel did was widen his smile.

“I’ve found more than that. I’ve been suppressing my Grace for millennia, in order to stay undetected. When I unleashed it, I reached out and that’s how I knew about the death mission you all had planned. But the best part? I found God. He’s _alive_ , Cassy.” Castiel’s response was intense and immediate. He crossed the room in a flash and crowded into Gabriel’s space.

“ _Where_? Where is He?” Cas demanded and Gabriel’s face fell slightly.

“See that’s the thing… I don’t know where exactly-”

“Gabriel!”

“Excuse me for thinking saving Sam’s life was more important than getting an exact location on Dad right that second. I’m sure if I reach out again, I can find Him.”

“I’m sure you can too, Gabriel.” A female voice spoke out and Bobby’s living room started to feel more than a little crowded as all the room’s previous occupants turned to see who had joined them now. A young girl, looking no more than thirteen, stood in the doorway. She had long brown hair, blue eyes, and was wearing a sundress that flowed around her like melted gold. The two angels had looks of wonder on their faces as the humans shifted in nervous confusion.

“ _Dad_ ,” Gabriel breathed, awed.

“Hello, Gabriel. I’m glad to see you’re still using the vessel I gave you.” Gabriel blinked a couple of times, as if making sure he was really seeing the short girl in front of him.

“It’s been perfect. Thank you again.” Gabriel said when he managed to find his voice. God- and it was really hard for Sam to think of this little girl as _God_ \- gave Gabriel a smile before turning to face Cas.

“I know how hard you’ve been looking for me and I apologize for not coming sooner, but I was waiting for the right time.”

“The right time? You mean after the apocalypse? After Sammy sacrificed himself for something you could’ve stopped?” Dean so was angry he ignored Castiel’s glare and the angel’s foot stepping on his own.

“Actually, Dean, I was waiting for one of my archangels to look for me.”

“Why are they any different than Cas looking for you?” The man in question elbowed Dean in the stomach and Sam watched his brother wince. “If you’re gonna beat me up, go stand by someone else.” Dean grumbled quietly. God smiled at the pair, full of affection and _knowing_.

“I left Heaven because of my archangels, I thought it only right that they be the reason I return.” God looked to Gabriel before continuing, “You’ve been trying so hard to keep your Grace under control that you didn’t even realize we’ve been sharing the same Earth for centuries. I’ve been watching you.” She turned her gaze to the room. “I’ve been watching all of you, in fact. For a long time.”

“Why did you leave us?” Castiel’s voice was quiet, almost like he didn’t want to know the answer.

“Would you like the whole story? You and Gabriel know parts of it, but so much time has passed and I’m sure the others are curious as well.”

*************************

Five minutes later found the same six in the same room, but slightly different positions and all three humans with beers in their hands. Sam and Dean were sprawled on the couch with Cas between them. Gabriel had settled on the floor by Sam’s feet while Bobby had taken his usual chair. God was sitting on the desk, swinging Her bare feet and looking much like the child’s body she inhabited. Everyone was quiet, waiting for God to speak. She took a deep, unnecessary breath and began to speak.

“I believe you all know that the four archangels were the first I created. I love all four of them, more than I probably should. Gabriel always knew I had a soft spot for them, used it to his own gain a few times, if I remember correctly.” She gave Gabriel a sly look and he smiled back, almost looking shy.

“For a time, everything was… well, I really cannot say it was perfect, but it was very close. I decided a change was needed, however. I tired of having an army of mindless followers. I wanted my beloved children to be greater than that. So three things happened at once. I lessened my control over the angels, gave them opportunities that I wouldn’t have if I wasn’t trying to lead them towards having free will. I created another generation of angels, hoping that the newcomers would be more able to adapt to having free will, as they’d never known the life of blindly following a leader. I also gave my angels a way to bind themselves to another. It was a marriage of sorts, one that I hoped would lead to the angels realizing that I should not, and could not, always be their first priority.

“The changes were… touch and go. The first generation of angels were wary of all the sudden changes. They welcomed their new brother and sisters with open arms, of course, but all of it seemed to be too much for them to handle. I almost lost hope that I would ever be able to see my angels as anything but a mindless army.

“Then two angels came to me. They wanted to know more about the bond, everything it entailed, how to perform the ritual. I explained everything and I am still honored that I was allowed to be present to watch the first bond happen. When the pair returned to the other angels, of course everyone could tell the change. The two were happier than I’d ever seen them and it was almost infectious. After that, the bonds were a roaring success. Angels that had been close for millennia realized that they could be even closer, that they could join in a way special to just the two of them.

“After a time, I decided to implement the next part of my plan. I created humanity, hoping that seeing the creatures who went about with their own free will would encourage the angels, give them something to mold themselves after. I wanted the angels to see it as the learning experience that it was meant to be and to respect humanity. I encouraged them to visit Earth, see the humans personally, instead of from afar. Many were open to the idea, but appeared to be more comfortable just watching.

“However, some few angels were unhappy. Lucifer, in particular, was adamant that he would never bow to humanity and all their flaws. Michael, ever the level headed of the two, tried to convince him to see reason. Angels weren’t meant to see humans as their gods or above themselves in any way. Lucifer still refused to respect humanity. It lead to near constant fighting between the two of them. I believe I would have let it continue indefinitely if two things hadn’t happened at once.

“Gabriel came to me. He was distraught. He couldn’t handle his older brothers fighting anymore. He wanted an escape. I had talked of angels travelling to Earth and he wanted that. He made it clear that as long as Lucifer and Michael fought, he didn’t want to be in Heaven. I told him that I would need time to consider. Of course, I already knew that I would let him go. I also knew that my angels would need vessels on Earth and that they would need their vessel’s permission to use it. But I also knew that archangels had a Grace too powerful to house in just any vessel. It seemed unfair to take a living being from their life and keep them prisoner in their own body as long as Gabriel wanted to stay. So I made an empty human vessel and sent it to the Garden. When that was done, I returned to Gabriel and wished him luck. In his sudden departure and with the fighting happening, the other angels thought he had died and mourned him as such. It was a shock that stopped even Michael and Lucifer from their fighting for a time.

“The peace didn’t last though and Michael came to me eventually. He couldn’t take the fighting anymore. He loved Lucifer too much to be estranged for all eternity and needed help. He pleaded with me to do something, anything. Perhaps I was too harsh, but I was tired of the fighting too. My angels were drawing lines, picking sides. I realized with startling clarity that I should’ve done something long ago. So I gave Lucifer an ultimatum: bow to humanity or be cast down and take all those who sided with him along. Michael switched back to trying to reason with him. He just knew that he was going to get through to Lucifer. Michael was convinced he was worth it to the other angel.

“I gave Lucifer what was probably too much time to decide. When the time was up, I sought him out. He was with Michael, which I was expecting. He refused to bow to humanity, which I also expected. I don’t think Michael was prepared for the decision, however. Angels do not show emotions as humans do, but the only words I can use to describe Michael were distraught and heartbroken. Lucifer was his brother, someone he had always had beside him. He would be lost without his partner. Lucifer had made his choice though. I took his name and his bond, but Michael was the one who cast him out, full of rage that Lucifer had been so selfish.” God let out a long sigh.

“They were the first for so many things, I never wanted them to be the first bond I had to break.”


	2. Chapter 2

The end of God’s tale was met with silence. It lasted for minutes, hanging heavy over the room. Everyone lost in their thoughts, digesting the flood of information, and seeming reluctant to be the one to break it.

“Michael and Lucifer… They were the first angels to bond, weren’t they?” Castiel spoke slowly and quietly, afraid to disrupt the silence.

“They were.” God nodded Her agreement, a small, sad smile on Her face.

“What happened after Michael cast Lucifer out of Heaven?” Sam asked, just as quiet as the angel.

“Michael was inconsolable. I tried to help for some time, but after a while, I couldn’t bare it anymore. I knew I was partially to blame for his unhappiness. So I fled to Earth and I’ve been here ever since. I only meant to stay away long enough to give Michael time to recover, but it seems my departure only made him worse.”

“So what happens now?” God turned a determined look to Dean.

“I am going to fix what I helped to break. And I would like the four of you to be there. I do believe you’ll want to hear this conversation.”

“Well you’d best get it going then. No time to waste when innocent people are dying.” Bobby was practically shoo-ing God out of his living room. He looked like her was going to be relieved when all of Heaven’s former residents were out of his house. God gave the older hunter an indulgent smile.

“I’ll make sure your boys are returned to you unharmed.” If Bobby replied, no one heard it. The five of them were standing in a field of wildflowers, surrounded by trees and the sun shining directly overhead.

“Don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” Dean muttered. Sam nodded his agreement as he looked around curiously.

“Where are we?”

“As far as I can tell, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.” Gabriel looked around impressed.

“I have called Michael and Lucifer and asked them to meet us here. They should arrive shortly.” God assessed Her surroundings consideringly.

“Won’t Michael need a vessel?” Dean asked, suddenly suspicious of God wanting his presence.

“They both will, actually. I will not have them meet while Lucifer’s vessel is failing him.” Before the brothers has a chance to voice their concern, God waved a hand in the air. The land shuddered and began to rise in two spires on either side of Her. When the dust settled, two bodies were standing next to God, one male and one female. They both looked… vaguely familiar.

“Who are those people?” Sam squinted, shuffling a little closer.

“Did they agree to being vessels?” Dean pressed.

“They are carbon copies of current descendants from the Winchester and Campbell bloodlines, close enough to the two of you that Michael and Lucifer will easily be contained by them. I will have no more humans used as angel vessels.” God replied, looking pleased with Herself. That would explain why the two figures still hadn’t shown any signs of movement or life.

“So they’re like distant cousins?” Sam asked frowning.

“Something like that, yes.” God replied cryptically, showing no signs of giving any more information. Before another question could be asked, Lucifer’s failing vessel appeared in front of them.

“Father. We thought you were…” He trailed off, looking uncertain.

“Lucifer, it’s been a long time. Why don’t you give that vessel back. I’ve brought you another, one that won’t fail you.” She gestured toward the female while Lucifer frowned.

“But, Father, my Grace burned out the soul in this vessel, I can’t give it back.” He actually sounded guilty as he admitted it.

“You can return the body to the soul’s family so that they will have proof of their loved one passing and finally cease their search for answers.” Lucifer gave a terse nod. Castiel and Gabriel barely had time to shield Dean and Sam’s eyes before a bright light flashed. When the angels let the humans see again, the body Lucifer had inhabited was was gone. He stretched his new arms and gave God a small smile.

“A much better fit, thank you.”

“You are welcome. I thought you’d want to be in a vessel that isn’t failing you when Michael arrives.”

“Michael is coming?” Lucifer looked nervous, but resigned. “You’ve brought me here to die.” The body to God’s right, unoccupied just seconds before, jolted. Michael’s face contorted with anger.

“What is this?” Michael practically growled at God. “You disappear for a millennia and then call me back so I can watch you kill my mate?” God gave a small shake of Her head.

“I did not come here with the intentions of killing either of you and I sincerely hope that it will not come to that. I am here so the three of us may right some wrongs that we have done. First, now that the two of you have your own vessels, will you agree to stop your pursuits of the Winchester brothers?” God gestured to the small group standing just feet away. Both Lucifer and Michael seemed surprised to see that they were not alone, but they were quick to agree that use of the brothers was no longer necessary. To get their attention focused back on track, God told much of the same story She had told the others a short time before. She explained what She had meant to happen when she had brought about humanity and the changes.

“Free will? All of this because you wanted us to have free will? Why not just _tell_ us?” Michael was growing angrier with each passing moment.

“I could not simply command you to have free will, Michael.” God explained rationally.

“You could’ve found a way to do it without humanity.” Insisted Michael.

“I don’t think I could have. Not even the newest generation of angels could do it.”

“You could have introduced us to them in a way that didn’t end with me losing everyone I cared for, at least! I was abandoned! One of my brother’s fled, the other cast out, Father nowhere to be found!” Michael was frustrated, almost near tears. No one could do anything, but watch the scene unfold in front of them.

“You had Raphael-”

“Hah! After you left, Raphael became so focused on power that he wanted nothing to do with me.”

“The other angels, then. You were in Heaven, Michael, you couldn’t have been alone.” God’s eyes shone with sadness.

“I was surrounded by angels, but completely on my own. No one else understood. Of course, they lost two brothers as well, but they weren’t close like the four of us. They had no idea what I was going through. No one else had ever lost a bondmate. Some have now, with the wars going on, but it still isn’t the same. They all recover after a time. I do not. I will not.”

“Michael.” Michael’s attention immediately focused on Lucifer. “I had no idea it would happen like that.” Michael opened his mouth to argue, but Lucifer held up a hand. “Just be quiet and let me speak for once, will you?” Michael nodded, mouth now firmly shut. “I knew I would be cast out, but I had no clue that our bond would be broken. I didn’t think our Father would be so cruel to _you_. If I had known… I don’t think I would have rebelled quite so fiercely.”

“I believe I have a solution that will please all parties involved.” God offered, the beginnings of a smile on Her face. Both angels turned questioning gazes to Her. “If you both agree to end your war, to leave humanity as it is, I will give Lucifer his angelic name back and restore your bond.”

“Yes. Do it.” Michael responded immediately. God turned to Lucifer, who wore a thoughtful expression.

“I will agree, but I have one condition.” God gave a worried gesture for him to continue. “I do not want my old name back. It is not who I am anymore.” God’s face broke into a wide smile. Michael opened his mouth, perhaps to argue or maybe agree, but She spoke first.

“Gabriel, Castiel, cover your humans’ eyes please.” The angels complied quickly and as soon as the Winchesters weren’t at risk of losing their sight, a blinding light flared between the two oldest angels. When the younger angels moved to allow the hunters sight again, Michael and Lucifer were staring at one another. It went on for a time before anyone spoke.

“Is eye-sex really appropriate in front of God?”

“I am everywhere and all-seeing, Dean, and I can assure you that it doesn’t bother me to witness your so-called eye-sex. If it did, I’d have burned your eyes out in Pontiac.” Before anyone had time to come up with a response for Her shocking statement, Lucifer and Michael were suddenly springing into motion. Lucifer lifted Michael easily and spun him around, both laughing. When Michael’s feet were firmly on the ground again, Lucifer latched his legs around the other angel’s waist.

“Human bodies are so _odd_.” Michael frowned, looking down at the bodies they were wearing. Lucifer laughed again and pulled Michael’s face close to his own.

“Oh, but all the things we can _do_ in them, Michael.” Lucifer gave a sly smile that was practically a leer. Thankfully for everyone else involved, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the couple disappeared before anyone witnessed exactly what they planned to do in their new bodies.

“Sent them to a cabin far from civilization.” Gabriel sounded both pleased with himself and relieved at once.

“Is it really over? Just like that?” Sam asked, too sceptical to have much hope.

“Not completely, I’m afraid. The demons that escaped still need sent back to hell and Heaven is in chaos. But the apocalypse has, for all intents and purposes, been cancelled.” God gave the four men a wry smile. Sam and Dean let out loud shouts and hugged each other, pounding on the other’s back fiercely.

“We did it!” Dean cheered.

“Actually, technically, _I_ did it. I’m the one who found Dad, after all.” Gabriel chuckled, smiling fondly at the brothers. Sam pulled away from Dean, turning on Gabriel with a look of awe on his face.

“I meant we survived.” Dean rolled his eyes. He reached over, about to pull Cas into a hug next, when Sam pounced on Gabriel again.

“Alright there, Sasquatch?” Gabriel chuckled, but he sounded concerned too, as he patted Sam’s back.

“You saved me. Shit. I’m so happy I could kiss you!” Sam exclaimed.

“Good plan, sweetheart, but why don’t you save it for when we’re not in front of my Dad and our brothers? Possibly later tonight, when you’re properly intoxicated and ready to be taken advantage of?” Gabriel leered at Sam, who rolled his eyes and took a step back.

“I’m sure there will be plenty of time for whatever celebrations you all might have in mind, but I’m afraid I must return you to Robert Singer’s so that I can start to clean up the mess Heaven has been left in.” God seemed sad to part with the world that She had inhabited for so long.

“Will we have to go back?” Castiel asked with a determined look about him.

“For a time, but not immediately.” God smiled when Castiel relaxed and she moved closer, standing right in front of one of her youngest angelic creations. “Before I go, there is something that I must tell you. Castiel, I created you with my youngest generation of angels and you are everything I ever hoped for during your creation. I know your Grace has been failing you and I want to fix that and I want you to know that it will never happen again.” Cas looked relieved and joyous. The look only intensified when God reached out and put a small hand over his heart. A gentle glow spread from Her fingertips and when She pulled Her hand away, Castiel’s entire frame was glowing. He had a pure white light shimmering around his body like a halo.

“What did you do?” Dean was mildly worried, but happy to see Castiel looking untroubled for what seemed like the first time since they had met.

“Cassy got a promotion. He’s an archangel now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get a positive response from this, I'll be posting the next part of this story. It will focus on Sam, Dean, Gabriel, and Castiel post-apocalypse-cancelation. Things to look forward to are lots of fluff, a little smut, Ultimate Fangirl/Shipper God, and some shiny new angel bonds. And I promise the whole thing is a lot less crack-y than it sounds!
> 
> If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, I'm justanotherfangirl44 there as well.


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